This Christmas while everyone, including myself, is busy with all of the seasonal craziness of present buying, stressing out, wrapping till the wee hours, work and family parties, crossing of your list's, please remember to sit back and enjoy the company around you.

This will be my family's first Christmas without my brother. Even though I didn’t see him every day, every week, or even every month for that matter, this time of year is hitting me hard. Please hug your family a little tighter, a little longer, tell them you love them, even if you can’t stand ‘em, and make sure they know the best present of all, as cliché as it sounds, is being able to enjoy each other’s company.

I’ll miss my brother, always the patient one, helping my children untie the million twisties that come on all the toys, playing the new video games with the boys, making fun of me for staying in my pajamas all day, and our annual making jokes about the silly things my mom insists on putting in our stockings (yes we still got stockings) every year, (flashlights, socks, window scrapers, just to name a few J ).

A couple years ago on Christmas my brother and I decided to have some Captain Morgan’s at my mom’s house. We decided not to tell mom, even though we were each of drinking age, as she was wanted us to “behave” and Gabe and I don’t have the best track record for drinking together and behaving. We kept sneaking out to the garage like 16 yr olds laughing and putting a little Captain in our coke (pepsi for Gabe) and randomly doing the Captain stance all over my mom’s house, and she had no idea what was going on. This seems like a silly and insignificant story, but it was one of our last Christmas’s together and makes me smile every time I think about my brother asking, “do you have a little Captain in ya” and then hearing his loud laugh.

I also remember a Christmas when my brother needed a ride somewhere and I was too selfish to take him out that far and was annoyed that he was asking me to take time out of my Christmas Eve to drive him anywhere, so I would only agree to take him to the bus station, and it was the first time he ever got upset with me. Gabe, I just want you to know I would take you around the world 10 times and back this year if I could see you one more time. I would realize life is too short and that this drive would have only meant extra time for him and I to talk or to see him smiling or laughing.

I still remember some of  “his” ornaments from when we were kids. He had one with Santa driving a fire truck, one with a little farmer boy dressed in green with Gabriel painted on the hat and mine was a little angel with Sara painted on the feet (it was always spelled wrong) and I would have to make sure those two ornaments were always hung by each other. He also had one with a boy looking through a snowy window into a store, and then as he got older many Star Wars ornaments to follow. If I wanted to put the star on the tree, Gabe never argued and always let me do the honors.

Gabe, I hope this year you are looking down on us and celebrating in your own way. I envision you in a blue adidas sweatshirt, a tobagan, and a turn table mixing up some music for everyone, I'm sure you are the life of a party somewhere. where ever that may be. If I could see you one more time and tell you how happy I am right now and share my happiness with you, I would never need another present for a lifetime. I hope you know we are missing you and the craziness you brought to our family. You always knew how to put a smile on everyone’s face and you are missed immensely. Love you so much brother. Please put a good word in to keep the snow away! You always loved sledding and this time of year, and you know I hate this weather J